My husband and l have a small home based business. We have one employee who has worked for us for a few months, but we've been friends for years. I've discovered that he is been looking at porn while we're away, in my converted dining room office. This grosses me out to no end and l am having a hard time even looking at him. Add to this the fact that he is been charging us for time he spends on the phone and hanging out with mutual friends that stop by. He is also just not doing as much stuff as l thought he would. l had hoped he'd be more of a self-starter and get US more organized and working more smoothly to increase business. That has not happened. With times being what they are it is getting more and more frustrating paying him when I am feeling all this animosity and he is not even doing that good of ajob. We really just ned to let him go. I am not sure how to do it, though. Everyone in our industry is getting laid off or closing up shop and he knows business has slowed a bit. Do we just tell him we can not afford him any more or do l mention the things he is done/not done that are a factor in letting him go. l can tell you, his wife would be furious if she knew him looking at porn on our computer was a factor in our decision.l am pretty sure we should just not mention the unhappiness if we wanna maintain a friendship (we do).l could just use some general advice here. l feel guilty letting anyone go in these uncertain times!

l would ask them whats there favorite restaurant and then let them get a glass of water then fire them and leave.

I'd probably just say something like you just are not in a position to keep him on, so have to terminate his employment.

Hey, that is true.

Ah, thats a tough one.
Maybe you should have learned a lesson from this?
Do not hire you're friends?

But l think the best thing to do is say it in the nicest way possible so you could continue being friends. Make up and excuse so it seems like your fault and no one gets made, like you said - you can not afford him.

You have two ways, you could say that our business cant afford you anymore. Im terribly sorry, but we decided that this would be a family business, and we will decide and grow when its time.

*say that you will pay him for today, even though he is not working*

Or you could just tell him upfront, we dont like u watching porn on our computer, so that violate rule number 13 or someething, and you must leave

RUle #1 about business - no matter ur personal relationship with an employee, never, ever, ever assume that since you're friends u know them & the relationship will be good. the biggest problems in business r between friends & family members who hire friends & family members thinking they will be OK.

In any business - l do not care if it is home-based, office based, 1 employee or a million, u MUST lay out ur expecations, as much in writing as possible & ensure they r met. You owe this especially to friends & family members u hire - u must take the personal relationship out of the equation.

Otherwise u find yourself in exactly ur situation.

l suggest u terminate the arrangement through some safe non-committal means - such as saying u simply have not the work to sustain an employee at the time - because u will damage the relationship as a friend if u accuse him of anything. What he is doing he thinks is totally acceptable - either because he'd allow it or becuase u have not told him specifically he is expected NOT to do it. never assume common sense should tell a person something - common sense is not so common.

The first time u started having mis-givings u should have nipped the issue in the bud by sitting him down, laying out u expectations, how u viewed his recent activity & why it was unacceptable. When u put things in black & white & do not give an employee to claim ignorance, the problems take care of themselves - tell a person '' l wo not accept this & the next time, this will be the consequences'' & they will either shore up their behaviour or they will quit of their own accord.

Either way, expect that the friendship is over - because if u intend to hire someone else, how u gonna keep it from these friends of yours?

Additionally, if u cite certain reasons for letting him go, & u have not provided written guidelines such as an employee handbook, no matter how simple, he can claim to the unemployment commission that u were terminated unfairly. You leave yourself open to further conflict by simply not outlining what u will accept & what u wo not accept with any new employee.

Good luck - next time sit down, write down the expectations, form a plan for formal review that contains both issues for improvements (opportunities) & things the r positive or an employee does well. Do not hesitate to step in & speak with someone about their actions or performance & do it in a very respectful ''want to make sure u know where l stand on this issue'' way - then be consistent - be consistent with what u do & how they view what u do. It is wrong to get after a person for doing something u do - for example, if u talk on the phone on non-business matters or if u enterain guests of a non-business manner during business hours, expect this to send a message to employees that it is OK for them to do the same no matter what is been expressed between you. To gain respect, be respectful, to gain trust, be trustworthy.

Your quite odd. u cant stand a well known old friend cause now u know he looked at porn? l would not want to work for ur judgmental azz, being that asinine & anal about what a grown man looks at while no one is around is absolutely ridiculous. Ca not even talk to his buddies either, common how much can he rack the phone bill up to talking to local friends that stop by.wait how is he charging anything to u if he is hanging out with someone? You need to just work alone cause it sounds like u want subservient saint to work for u which is not gonna happen. Just tell him how u feel about him looking at porn, then watch him laugh at you, then say l quit. no unemployment check needed for him after that!